Due to the current earthquake there has been a massive deflation that cause the prices of goods to drop rapidly. Experts have found out how this has occurred.

Due to the earthquake, many people were worried about tsunami, thus hide in their water proof houses. However, due to their inability to keep track of time, they lost count of time and ended up staying in their house for a long time. This caused a decrease in the number of people leaving their houses to buy goods from shops, causing a large surplus of goods. Thus, the price of goods decreased sharply as the SML Dollar gain muscle. This caused the deflation.

Some of the goods that were affected by the deflation are listed below:
-Bak kwa, price drop from SML$1000 to SML$100
-Eggs, rice drop from SML$0.01 to SML$0.005
-Hair Spray, price drop from SML$913 to SML$315
-Bowling balls, price drop from SML$99999 to SML$11
-Bowling Pins, price drop from SML$99 to SML$ 1.10

The crook FCC have also disappeared and escaped. The SML Police force, SML Rangers, Ninja, SML Samurai, SML Armed forced and students of Penguin JC have all banded together to look for him. Residents are adviced to eatch out for this crook and alarm the SMLP if you see him. He is extremely candycious and you are adviced not to give him candy. If you see him, please call 1800-555-5555555555.

Sorry for the delay,(cause some people were too busy opening their angbaos) but the results for your favourite CNY goodie is finally out!

Bak kwa has won with 100% of the votes, leaving all the other goodies for behind.
(Total number of votes: 1)
If you want to eat more of bak kwa even though CNY has passed, feel free to buy them from any bak kwa seller at half price - they are sure to have a lot left.

A violent earthquake hit SML Land today. This quake, measuring 10.5, is said to be centred at the SML Square. However, the 100m tall flag pole bearing the SML Flag was not shaken. The flag did not even sway. However, a few buildings surrounding the SML Square were badly damaged and had to be blasted down to prevent accidents from happening.

The damaged buildings include:
1) Penguin JC toilet block
2) SML Jail Block (the one holding FCC)
3) SML Airport control station #100
4) SML Zoo block that hold the cocroaches for display
5) SML Beach sand castles

Also, a tsunami was triggered by the earthquake. However, the waves measuring 100m in height were frozen by a gust of icy wind from the North, thus it did not cause any serious damage except flooding the whole underground subway system.

A damage report indicated that a total of 234 buildings were damaged throughout the disaster. FCC is reported missing and presumed buried alive by rubble of the Penjuin JC toilet block. 1000000000 roaches were also reported missing from the SML Zoo and are presumed to be some where in SML Land. SML residents are adviced to capture the roaches and return them back to SML Zoo.

Currently, emergency repair workers are working on the SML Beach 24/7 to rebuild and repair the sand castles for the World Sand Castle Destroying Competition that is going to be held next month.

SML Times is recruiting!!!!!!

-If you are anywhere between the age of 1 to 100.
-and if you are lame
-and sian at the same time
-and want to crap
-and want to be disappointed

Just grap four other friends and sign up.

We advise you to work in groups of five when interviewing people, and here is the reason:
-one person to hold the mic
-one person hold the camera
-one person hold the note pad
-one person to hold a pen to write
-one person to ask questions

If you are interested, just call our unfriendly staff at 1800-SML-913913

Labels: Classified Ads

A group of students were seen making paper stars in Penguin JC yesterday. If is found out that this group of students actually belonged to a secret wildlife conservation club called the CEO (Conserve Earth Organisation). They were making stars to give to people so that they will be more aware of the presences of sponges in the Earth's sea and help protect them.

"Patrick the Starfish is a good friend of SpongeBob, thus by making stars, we hope that people will become more aware of sponges." a student told our reporters," we will also give dried sponges to the people we give the stars to."

However, the principal of penguin JC has told our reporters that people should not listen to these students. They should not support the senseless killing of sponges because it will result in a shortage of sponges. A shortage of sponges will cause a rise in price of sponge, thus a drop in quantity demanded for sponges. This will in turn cause a rise in demand for toy sponges which can be a substitude for sponges.

However, he did not state why he opposed the rise in demand for toy sponge. Thus, our reporter rate his reason as unreliable. Anyway, SML Times hope you will help in conserving nature for no apparent reason.

Large groups of students dressed in a variety of uniforms were seen migrating from one JC to another JC in SML Land today. Even though it was officially a school day, the students did not seem to care. According to SML Experts say this action of openly escaping lesson is called 'PONNING".

But why have so many people chosen to 'pon'? When our reporters approached the students, they told us that they have ponned because they have just received their JAE (Jaguar Action Exercise) results. Some of them were not satisfied with their results and wanted to appeal to the JC of their choice.

However, there are people with other stories. Some students have ponned simply because they were not going to stay in the JC they were currently in, so it does not matter if they stay or not. Also, some have ponned JC because they were not aiming to go to the JC at all. They have instead put down polytechnies for their first eleven choices and a JC for their last choice. In the end they made it to the JC.

However, what ever your results for the JAE maybe, please remember... ... Penguin JC will always welcome you, if you become sick and tired of you current JC, please, come Penguin JC.

Here is 5 tips if you want to fight a war, battle, fight etc etc... ...
1) Strike first
2) Strike hard
3) Strike fast
4) Strike often
5) Make sure you dun miss

How meaningful.... ....

Labels: Comics

Anti eating Vege Campaign

Humans have been eating vegetables for a very long time. They have even attacked vegetables openly by becoming vegetarians and eat only vegetables. What they do not realise is that the vegetables also have life. Just because they keep silent does not mean they feel no pain! They can feel pain too, just like the animals. Thus an anti eating vege campaign will be held to protest about people killing the vegetable. You either join campaign because you believe that eating meat and vegetable will cause pain to those you eat and start eating non-organic food, or you eat your meat and vegetable and forget their pain.

Labels: Classified Ads

SML Times offer one minute of silence for the deceased Singapore Zoo Icon, Ah Meng.
-----silence please-----

Scientists in SML Land have discovered 2 new species of flowers!

The first flower is named forget-me-forever. A single whiff from this flower will make you forget everything that happened from the past 1 hour! Unfortunately, the scientists were unable to record the scent of this flower as they kept forgetting after they smelled it. (This is also why it took years before they finaly realised they had discovered a new flower.)

The 2nd species is knock-me-out a.k.a the Hammer. The sap produced by this flower evaporates quickly, causing a big headache to anyone who inhales it. Long term exposure can lead to a coma.

Anyone who wants to order these new flowers can contact the SML Lab or pick them in the forest across the river that surrounds SML Land. (which illegal immigrants regularly swim across) Just make sure you bring a gas mask and an oxygen tank.

Labels: Classified Ads

A strange phenomena was observed happening in SML Land today. Both involved people singing.

The first was seen when a group of people exited from Charlie's home. A SHORT girl in the group began to sing some weird song madly, den another slightly not so short, but a lot wider girl started to sing with her. This duo were observed to sing when they were crossing an overhead bridge too. It is theorized that they thought they were world infamous pop stars and they were holding a concert.

The second happened along a very long walk way. A group of people, lead bu two person called LaoAnTea and LaoUnKou were seen (and heard) leading the group singing a song. The lyrics is as follow:

One dollar, one dollar.
Hello one dollar.
Aunty, uncle, xiao di, xiao mei,
Bang1 wo2 mai3 tissue paper,
Hao3 Ma1???

chorus:
Tissue paper one dollar,
tissue paper one dollar.

One dollar, one dollar.
Bye bye one dollar.
Aunty, uncle, xiao di, xiao mei.
All buy my tissue paper le.
Thank You!!

*chorus*

One dollar, one dollar.
I earned one dollar.
Now can go buy,
More tissue paper to sell.

*chorus*

Police are still investigating how this phenomena has happened. However, scientists say that the singing may be harmful to the public as the noise may cause people to be distracted and waste bang into a wall. The public is advised to stay away form the two girls who think they are infamous pop stars.

VDAY is coming!! No idea what to get for ur TRUE/fake Love?
have no fear, SML times is here..take a look at our suggestions for the PERFECT/MOST USEFUL GIFT!!!

1)99%cocoa chocolate---for weirdos who like bitter chocs more than sweet chocs
2)white chrysanthemum---perfect for girls who love chrysanthemum tea and the colour white!!!
3)a hard toy---yes yes, girls DO get sick of SOFT toys....newest fashion...BUY HARD TOYS
4)A candle--- "hey, bring ur own candle for our next candle-lit dinner =D"
5)a vase---for all the roses u gave the previous years =D
6) water!!---to put inside the vase
7) slimming pils---most useful gift u can ever get for a girl who has many admirers giving her chocs
8)cardboard box---very useful too, to put all those other gifts into...


interested buyers can order now at SML frontdesk...buyers can also stand a chance to win a pair of free tickets to jack niao's new film!!

Labels: Classified Ads

As you gather with your family to have a peaceful and happy reunion dinner, have you ever thought how this was possible? SML Times takes you on a journey to expose the unsung heroes who keep SML Land safe and working.

Peace Keeping

SML Armed Force (SMLAF)
This is a 24/7/365 force that keeps SML Land safe from foreign invasions. The soldiers work hard day and night, to deter any foes from taking our happiness. The SML Armed force have took part in the many wars organised to defeat several of the major foes that haunted SML Land, such as the evil SML that carried a demonic baby who attacked SML Land more that 2 years ago. The SMLAF has worked with numerous groups including the RaVe Association of Teachers (RAT), Extreme Ghoust Busters (EGB) and the Yifan in fighting off the Demonic baby.

SML Rangers (SMLR)
This group has been put up last year around september (or at least i tink is Sep). They have fought all sorts of foes, such the MojojojoAce and the Fashion Candy Cane (FCC). Five rangers were almost killed when they were trapped in FCC's molten candy. But eventually, they got free and defeated FCC with the help of SML Ninja and SML Samurai.

SML Ninja and Samurai
This two heros were introduced after FCC's attack last december. They played a crucial role in the defeat and the peace keeping. Also, if it was not for them, SML Land could never have been able to celebrate a Happy New Year on 1st January this year.

RaVe Association of Teachers (RAT)
This group of people included Charlie, OLY, KGL, EEK, LOOK, CTC, Bose and several other teachers, who have help fight against the Demonic Baby two years ago. They have also played a crucial role in nuturing the SML Reporters and teaching them how to write proper newspaper articles. If it was not for them, SML Times won't have been created. (really it wun be created, cos if no teacher, will not have sian ppl to come up with SML Times)

SMLock Holmes
A famous detective who dedicated his life in solving crime and mystries that happen in SML Land. The most recentwas to find out the real identity of SHIM, who happen to be an alien from outer space whom decided to migrate to SML Land.

SML Jail
This is the top security jail which houses many of the criminals that had once endangered the peace of SML Land, including FCC and Fashion Chocolate Cane (FChoc).

Economy and Society

SML Bank
Yes it has been recently robbed by Charlie, but this bank is still one of the most highly secured bank in the world and SML Land residents can store their money in the bank in peace. The Bank has also come up with the special Atm machines which deter robbers and the special Atm card which allow you to withdraw unlimited amount of money.

SML Temple
This temple offers to help you create lucky amulets which help you to add at least two points to your L1R5.

Penguin JC
This school has nutured many of the top students that now work and contribute to the economy and society of SML Land.

SML SuperMarket
This is the plae where you can find anything you need. Items sold include food, water, more food, more water, money, toilet bowl, cards, toys, and many many many more. You name it, this place sell it.

SML Transport Authorities (SMLTA)
This organisation contros all the taxies, buses, trains, planes, ships, rockets, space ships, wooden rafts, rubber tyres that people use to move around, into and out of SML Land. It is this organisation that allow you to unite with your family for this Lunar New Year.

Illegal Imigrant Office (IIO)
This office allow illegal imigrants to legalise themselves so that the can stay in SML Land when they cross over.

SML Library
This library is filled with all the books found in the world. It has at least two copy of a certain book, even if the book has only one copy in the world.

SML Printing Press (SPP)
Ever wonder wher you get your newspapers, magazines, books, toilet paper and breakfast from? This is the place.

Last but not least... ...

SML Times Reporters
These reporters have worked hard and used much brain juice to write all this articles for you to read. Several have since left after the disbanding of 2J05, but more have joined. Notable figures include God Swim Water Work Bird, Meow Mask Ranger, Jaguar Warrior, King kong cum FingerSmith, God Goat, Gorilla Banana and more.

Anyway, SML Times wishes all a Merry Chinese New Year:))))))))

There are more departments, but i forgot who le... ... but i will try my best to remember.

SML Times is carrying out a vote on our readers' favourite Chinese New Year goodie! The candidates are presented below:

• Bak kwa (pieces of unhealthy BBQ pork that make you fat)
• Pineapple tarts (that also make you fat)
• Yu Sheng (which people mix their saliva into using chopsticks)
• Steamboat (not the one invented by...whoever-he-is)
• Love letters (not those written for Valentine's Day - the fried ones)

Please call or SMS Jaguar Warrior to cast your votes.* Alternatively, you may leave your votes in the cbox on the left side of the page. (This won't cost a single cent.)

*Each call/SMS costs SML$888888888888888888888.

A man was seen throwing money out of his window today. Experts estimate he threw about SML$88888888888888888888888 x 888888888888888888888. This man, who wish to be known as Charlie, was interviewed by SML Times reporter today.

'I recently bought 888888888888888888888 AngPaos to give my students when they visite me during Chinese New Year (CNY). However, when i decided to put money into the AngPaos, i found SML$88888888888888888888888 in each of them. I did not need this money, so I threw them away,' Charlie told our reporters.

If you wish to pick up some of the thrown cash, do visite Charlie's void deck soon before all the money is taken away.

Anyway, SML Times wish all reporters a Happy Chinese New Year:)))))))))

There have been two seperate cases of robbery committed today in SML Land.

The first robbery happened at SML Bank, where 888888888888888888888 AngPaos containing SML$88888888888888888888888 each were stolen by a man armed with an axe. The man was wearing a scouts uniform, with the words CHARLIE printed at the back. He took the AngPaos and ran into a waiting get away gorilla. There have been no clue to where he has escaped to. Cleaners have been hired to sweep away a trail of gorilla hair the lead all the way to where CHARLIE has went to.

It is understood that the AngPaos were orginally for the ChaiShenYe, who will be distributing the AngBaos to the residents of SML Land. However, they are lost now.

The second case happened at the SML Supermarket, where 888888888888888888 oranges were stolen from the orange trees for sale in the supermarket. This time, the robber was a girl named MONICA, who was armed with a hand to touch people. She also used the hand to pluck the oranges. However, the fresh and good quialty oranges for sale beside the trees were untouched. Again, there was no lead for the police. Cleaners were agained hired to rub off the orange juice splashed onto the ground, which lead all the way to MONICA's home.

The orange trees for sale were orginally to be sold so that the buyers can pluck off the oranges.

"These robbers so bo liao. Rob the shops le still muz leave the trails for me to clean," a cleaner who has been hired to clean both crime scenes told our reporters.

SML Police spokesman told our reporters that they have not got a single clue to why the AngPaos and Oranges were stolen. However, a possible situation is that the AngPaos and oranges were taken so that CHARLIE can give them to his students who will be visiting him during Chinese New Year.

Labels: Comics

MR CHNG HOUSE CLASS OUTING!!!

this saturday~
time confirmed. 10am at je bus interchange.

GO CHECK YOUR EMAIL FOR MORE DETAILS=D

anyway, happy new yr and sweet valentines=))

A timeless creation by Jaguar Warrior, Miao, KK Fingersmith and perhaps Keith(?). SML Online is the online version of the famous SML Times and Revivals which was usually written on discarded foolscap paper backs. No matter what, it is still out to brighten its faithful readers' day and let everyone have a good(lame) laugh. Yup, ITS BACK AGAIN!! But this time round, we're bringing sexy back. Yeah dude. It's all cool (cause of the lameness? i donch know).

#1 Sheng Hui
#2 Hannah
#3 Yanting
#4 Gao Han
#5 Xiaoyun
#6 Jiang Wei
#7 Chou Yin
#8 Tiantian
#9 Yu Xian
#10 Yizhu
#11 Evonne
#12 Yu Hui
#13 Jolene
#14 Shao Yue
#15 Yan Ru
#16 Tang Ni
#17 Pei Chan
#18 Xiaomeng
#19 Zhixuan
#20 Candy
#21 Yijiu
#22 Fanghui
#23 Yixin
#24 Zhou You
#25 Chen Xiao
#26 Zhenyu
#27 Naisheng
#28 Binxing
#29 Kenneth
#30 Hiok Yang
#31 Hong Kuang
#32 Zhi Hao
#33 Ming Hao
#34 Jing Chuen
#35 Yang Jin
#36 Jingwei
#37 Zheheng

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

CRAPPING CORNER

LAMERS

fanghui
hannah
kenneth
xiaomeng
xiaoyun
yanru
friend

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