3.15pm AVATAR 3D show at GV Marina

Price: FREE*

Whr to find it: Ben 10

How to get it: Anyhow, u can henshin n challenge Ben 10 to a dual, or u can simply steal his omimatrix, or u can steal e ticket from him, or u can hire Ninja Assassin for 100pounds of gold to steal from Ben etc etc..

How to use e ticket: U WIL NEED E FOLLOWING ITEM:
1) time travelling machine
2) key to e time travelling machine
3) one dollar coin to operate e time travelling machine
4) two dollar coin to buy e special one dollar coin to operate e time travelling machine
5) three dollar coin to trade for e two dollar coin (99.99% tax applied)
6) hammer to break e piggy bank containing e 3 dollar coin
7) anything u deem important....

*does not include cost of finding e ticket and travelling to e cinema etc etc

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are YOU trying to find the perfect/unique/special gift for your significant other?
are YOU running out of ideas for valentine?
are YOU a cheapo?
are YOU desperate?

if YES, SML CAN HELP YOU for the upcoming valentine!

Researchers from penguin university have came up with a list of gifts that might just WOW ur partner and WE are taking the initiative to bring those products/services to you at a cost of only $10....too good to be true? noway! Hurry and order while stocks last!!

Gifts we offer:

1) 鸭饭加饭加鸡蛋 coupon
2)鸡饭不要饭 coupon
3)鸡饭不要鸡 coupon
4)跟他一样 coupon (only applicable if there is someone before u redeeming in the queue)
5) a deck of cards (works on gambling addicts like tattoo mole =D)
6) fake $5 bills
7) real diamond ring made of fake glass in a real glass factory that imports fake glass from a country which exports fake diamonds
8) a long lost textbook containing all of charlie's mis-pronounced words
9)two air tickets for a honeymoon around the world! (expires on 1st jan 2009)
10)a time machine that allows you to travel back/forward in time!!! (maximum time travel of 1 second)

services we provide:

1)A fake spanish dude playing and singing romantic songs while you are on your date for $50 song list: shut up!, in the end, don't lie, it's my life, shut up and drive, so what!
note: due to limited song list, fake spanish guy might repeat songs over and over again. BUT rest assured, your money will be worth it as he will sing wherever u go(even when u have to take leak)

2)Decoration crew: This crew will help decorate the venue which u will be having your date, all for $20. As we have alot of leftover decorations from 2008's halloween, we will be decorating your venue with black cloth, fake spiderwebs, carved pumpkins, fake bats etc.


venues we suggest for your dates:

1)2 malan road
2)under the overhead bridge opposite punggol park (damn romantic)
3)library


for more information, call 1800-555-IWANT2DIE

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Due to a rising trend of SML people getting caught up in dangerous, sticky, funny, lame, lousy, weird and noob situations, the Jaguar Action Party have decided to organise a Special Operation team for escorting SML Land citizens out of the 'situations'. This team will be called the PSES (Personal Social Escort Squad).

All ppl frm 4E will be enlisted, however, if you do not wish to join, please submit a letter of DOWJ (dun wan to join) by 2nd Aug 2008, 0001 hrs.

Jaguar Warrior will lead the PSES and direct them to escort the people.

If you wish to join the committee, please leave your appeal letter in the 'TALK" section of SML Times. Limited to 4 more vacancies: escort-overall-in-charge, sentry, money man, slacker leader and super member.

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Wan to do well for your for your English and GP, SML Times is here to give you a hint when writing your essays. Just remember the 15Ws and one N:

We wish we were walking working waiting wadding watching with wonderful witty wayne wong wee noob!!!!!

Good luck!!!!

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SML Times is recruiting!!!!!!

-If you are anywhere between the age of 1 to 100.
-and if you are lame
-and sian at the same time
-and want to crap
-and want to be disappointed

Just grap four other friends and sign up.

We advise you to work in groups of five when interviewing people, and here is the reason:
-one person to hold the mic
-one person hold the camera
-one person hold the note pad
-one person to hold a pen to write
-one person to ask questions

If you are interested, just call our unfriendly staff at 1800-SML-913913

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Anti eating Vege Campaign

Humans have been eating vegetables for a very long time. They have even attacked vegetables openly by becoming vegetarians and eat only vegetables. What they do not realise is that the vegetables also have life. Just because they keep silent does not mean they feel no pain! They can feel pain too, just like the animals. Thus an anti eating vege campaign will be held to protest about people killing the vegetable. You either join campaign because you believe that eating meat and vegetable will cause pain to those you eat and start eating non-organic food, or you eat your meat and vegetable and forget their pain.

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Scientists in SML Land have discovered 2 new species of flowers!

The first flower is named forget-me-forever. A single whiff from this flower will make you forget everything that happened from the past 1 hour! Unfortunately, the scientists were unable to record the scent of this flower as they kept forgetting after they smelled it. (This is also why it took years before they finaly realised they had discovered a new flower.)

The 2nd species is knock-me-out a.k.a the Hammer. The sap produced by this flower evaporates quickly, causing a big headache to anyone who inhales it. Long term exposure can lead to a coma.

Anyone who wants to order these new flowers can contact the SML Lab or pick them in the forest across the river that surrounds SML Land. (which illegal immigrants regularly swim across) Just make sure you bring a gas mask and an oxygen tank.

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VDAY is coming!! No idea what to get for ur TRUE/fake Love?
have no fear, SML times is here..take a look at our suggestions for the PERFECT/MOST USEFUL GIFT!!!

1)99%cocoa chocolate---for weirdos who like bitter chocs more than sweet chocs
2)white chrysanthemum---perfect for girls who love chrysanthemum tea and the colour white!!!
3)a hard toy---yes yes, girls DO get sick of SOFT toys....newest fashion...BUY HARD TOYS
4)A candle--- "hey, bring ur own candle for our next candle-lit dinner =D"
5)a vase---for all the roses u gave the previous years =D
6) water!!---to put inside the vase
7) slimming pils---most useful gift u can ever get for a girl who has many admirers giving her chocs
8)cardboard box---very useful too, to put all those other gifts into...


interested buyers can order now at SML frontdesk...buyers can also stand a chance to win a pair of free tickets to jack niao's new film!!

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Received your OLL results? Thinking of which JC to go to? Think no more, the choice is clear... ... introducing the Penguin JC!!!

Penguin JC aims to develope a students skills in laming, reacting lamely to critical situation, solve lame problems... ... so on... ... The various courses offered by the JC are listed below:

H1 (Hardness level 1) subjects
1) Pop culture English
2) Current affairs from the Internet
3) Super High (and long) Mother's Tongue
4) Even Higher (and longer) Father's Tongue

H2 (Hardness level 2) subjects
1) Reverse physics (where all laws of physics are reversed)
2) PhyChemistry (a combination of phys and chemistry to help you study the chemistry between every day phenomenas)
3) BIOlogy (Basic IdOitism study)
4) Literature in England
5) Literature in China
6) Literature in Malaysia
7) Literature in India
8) Literature in some European Country
9) Literature from outer space

H3 (Hardness level 3) subjects
1) CAI (Crime and investigation with Mr SMLock Holmes)
2) UL (Ultimate Laming)
3) Henshin (Learn to henshin into a Rider, Ranger, Sazer, Kendo or anything you want)
4) Eating
5) Talking
6) Polar Bear Hunting
7) Swimming in solid water at low pressure

All students are required to take at least 3 H3 subjects, and 1 H2 subjects. Students that are able to proof themselves able to cope with their studies will be allow to take H1 subjects.

Also, Penguin JC offers entertaining Physical Education (PE) lessons such as billiard, pool, snooker, 8-Ball, 9-Ball, Hitting Balls on a table with sticks into holes, and other games that require sticks, balls and tables with holes. This PE lessons allow students to get physically fit for their NAPHA Examination (especially the written paper) while enjoying themselves in the game.

Consider no more, join Penguin JC NOW:)))))))))))))))

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Nervous because thur is coming?
Afraid of ur o level results?

fear not... ...

we will make u more nervous... ...

Introducing the ... ... De Stress Association (DSA)

Here is what they can do to help u pass ur time til thur 2pm:
1. Smack u
2. Beat u up
3. Suan u with good past year L1R5 grades
4. Make u nervous with lousy past year L1R5 grades
5. Tok abt common mistakes ppl make in the 2007 olevel papers with u
6. Tok abt the strict marking standards with u
7. Tok abt the outcome if ur results are v lousy
8. Act nervous so that u will be influenced

This are just some of the things the DSA will do to help u pass this waiting period.
To contact them, please call he DSA hotline 1800-DSA-55555555555555555555

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SML Waltz competition!!!
In order to celebrate the arrival of ex Santa CLAWS aka current ChaiShenYe, SML Land is holding a waltz competition. The competition is divided into the following categories:

1.Classic Waltz
2.Modern Waltz
3.Bumper Waltz
4.Waltz-Do
5.Suicide Waltz

If you are interested, please approach the SML Dance Universe (DU) officers and sign up with ur partner. U are allow to join in as many categories as u wish to. However, please note that you muz dance through the whole song in order to qualify for each category.

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From the SML Temple:

Note to all who have the 11 amulets (which means the rest of you can stop reading now), we're terribly sorry for leaving out the instructions on using the amulets. We had only just found out when a few people started spamming us via the phone & e-mail.(spammers stop now please) We have now advertised the instructions below only on SML Times:

1. Get a set of fashionable clothes and wash it in the washing machine together with the amulet for about 1 hour. Do not add any water or detergent.
2. Dry the clothes & amulet (if it has survived the wash) in the oven at 500 degrees Celsius.
3. Wear the set of clothes for 1 week. Do not bathe or wash the clothes else this won't work.
4. Place the amulet (or whatever remains of it) near an open window. Burn it (or the remains) after the 1 week.
5. Now you can bathe.

We hope this has enlighted the owners of the amulets (who isn't you) and has helped to add at least 2 points to your L1R5.

Attention: Make sure the clothes are fashionable. And spammers, please stop now.

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A new cca has been add to all the schools in SML Land, introducing the... ...
LAME CLUB!!!!!!

this is wad u do in this club
-break ppl's leg so they become lame
-tell lame joke
-tell sick and lame joke
-tell sick, cold and lame joke
-tell sick, cold, dirty and lame joke
-shoot down alien space craft so SHIM cant go home
-laming

and here is the password tp join the club:

Pnce there was a boy named Joke, he fell in to a pool of mud in winter, breaking his leg and catching the cold at the same time, thus he became a sick, cold, dirty and lame Joke.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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there has a been a recent trend of teens not knowing what CCA to choose for PAE.
PRESENTING THE NEW CCAs SML-times have opened up for LoST and ConFused teens

FIRSTLY, there is de LOST and CONFUSED CLUB (LCC):
students are required to train on their act blur skill. This cca is perfect for sotongs like pc!

For ppl who are interested in sports, there is the PICK-UP-BALL game:
during cca days, students are allowed to co-operate with other SPORTS ccas!! they will have to be stationed outside the playing area and pick up balls!!!

those that are interested in PERFORMING ARTS can join de CCT(curtain control team):
nothing to say...damn lame


anyone interested in the abv ccas can call sml hot line at 1800 555 55555555555555

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Worried about your exam results?

Don't fret, cause we are giving away lucky amulets absolutely FREE!

These amulets are guaranteed to add at least 2 points to your L1R5!
Hurry down to the temple at Fashion Drive to collect your amulet. (there is only 1 at the temple, so move your butt now!)
Alternatively, you may go to smltemple@fashiondrive.com to print your amulets.

Terms& conditions:

1. Amulets printed after the 1st 10 will not work.
2. If the amulet is not collected by anyone after your results are made known, it will be incinerated by Jaguar in the SML incineration plant
   

Please e-mail us at smltempleatfashiondrive@gmail.com should you have any queries.

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The SML Times reporters has conducted a survey on the public's view on Chinese New Year. A 'Most wanted' shopping list has been created from the data we have gathered. This shopping list will help you do your CNY shopping better.

-Lucky broomstick, you use this broom stick to sweep the house on CNY so the house will remain clean!!
-Rubber (brand name and material) knife, as u noe, red is a symbol of luck. Use this knife to cut yourself so that you get lots of red!!
-Black packet. forget the traditional red packet, when Santa accidentally burnt a red packet factory, this black packet is created. U can use it to give $$ to ppl.
-Fake Gold (brand name and material) Mouse, this Real Fake gold mouse is made of Fake Real gold. Give it to your fake good friends or real fake friends as the Year of the Mouse/Mice/Rat/Rodent approaches.
-Number asking machine(NAM), chio bu sitting beside u? wan her number? dun dare ask? This machine will get the job done.
-Lucky Red Clock, give this clock to your best friend and wish him/her/it a happy CNY.

And many more... ... will be updated when new merchandise come out!!

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SML times is in need of ppl to post on this blog
ANYONE interesting who is interested and has interesting news that would interest SML readers can call SML frontdesk at 62353535
our staff will then give u security clearance to post on this blog
ur contribution is greatly appreciated!

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The vote results on who is the actual hero is has come out!!!!!

-Red Spade Ranger has received ZERO votes cos no one like him.
-Ninja has received ZERO votes as those who tried to vote for him had their phone stolen by Red Spade Ranger
-SML Samurai has received ZERO votes as our SML Judge lost his phone.

Due to this draw, none of the three constants is chosen as the hero. Instead, fashion hero will be the hero.
LOL!!!!!!!

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As everyone know (if you duno den u r nt everyone), the book of the ancient SML told of a young hero that will rise and fight FCC. However, there are three such people and they are debating who is the real hero. They are Red Spade Ranger, Ninja and SML Samurai.

Thus to settle this debate, SML Times have organised a voting session that will decide who is the real hero. Simply sms Jaguar Warrior about who you think is the actual hero. This voting session ends on 1st January 2008 at 0000hrs. Any votes received after the dead line will be voided.

A speech is made by all the three candidates.

Red Spade Ranger:
u see ar, i RED SPADE RANGER leh, SPADE leh, biggest leh. Of course i the hero ma. Haha. Some more i red ranger, so i leader of the SML Rangers, so i muz be the hero ma.

Ninja:
I learn the ancient art of the ninja, and i use my power for good. Of course, Red Spade Ranger may be the leader, but that does nt prove that he is the hero. So muz vote for me hor.

SML Samurai:
u see both the two ppl above all tell u muz vote for them, so direct... ... Vote for me hor, cos i am the hero ma. i use samurai magic to defeat FCC de wad.

Having heard the three candidates, the power is in your hands to vote for who is the hero. cast your votes now!! SMS Jaguar Warrior now!!! (I'm serious)

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On SML National Day, the evil FCC was beaten. Thus to celebrate this occasion, this fateful day will be declared the National Day of SML Land. So SML Land residents will be celebrating both their national days on the same day.

Also, to celebrate the victory, a SML Ballroom Dancing Competition will be held at Gorilla, Godzilla and their old sis's house on 31st December 2007 and 1st January 2008. They will also be hosting a new year sleepover at their house. There will be ice skating competitions and banana eating competitions too.

If you are interested in ballroom dancing, sleeping, ice skating or eating banana, this is a chance you muz not miss. See you there!!!

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A timeless creation by Jaguar Warrior, Miao, KK Fingersmith and perhaps Keith(?). SML Online is the online version of the famous SML Times and Revivals which was usually written on discarded foolscap paper backs. No matter what, it is still out to brighten its faithful readers' day and let everyone have a good(lame) laugh. Yup, ITS BACK AGAIN!! But this time round, we're bringing sexy back. Yeah dude. It's all cool (cause of the lameness? i donch know).

#1 Sheng Hui
#2 Hannah
#3 Yanting
#4 Gao Han
#5 Xiaoyun
#6 Jiang Wei
#7 Chou Yin
#8 Tiantian
#9 Yu Xian
#10 Yizhu
#11 Evonne
#12 Yu Hui
#13 Jolene
#14 Shao Yue
#15 Yan Ru
#16 Tang Ni
#17 Pei Chan
#18 Xiaomeng
#19 Zhixuan
#20 Candy
#21 Yijiu
#22 Fanghui
#23 Yixin
#24 Zhou You
#25 Chen Xiao
#26 Zhenyu
#27 Naisheng
#28 Binxing
#29 Kenneth
#30 Hiok Yang
#31 Hong Kuang
#32 Zhi Hao
#33 Ming Hao
#34 Jing Chuen
#35 Yang Jin
#36 Jingwei
#37 Zheheng

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

CRAPPING CORNER

LAMERS

fanghui
hannah
kenneth
xiaomeng
xiaoyun
yanru
friend

Archives

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